notyetproverbs31

“Sovereign Lord, you are God! Your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant.” 2 Samuel 7:28

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending our states homeschooling convention.  I went knowing that I would be homeschooling 2 possibly even 3 of my children this next school term, very sure about the words God was telling me.  Most ladies tend to go because they feel overwhelmed and want some reassurance of their decision which is understandable but why the reassurance?

This may touch a nerve to many people but in my heart I feel that if a person is living their life according to the words He gives us then why the questioning?  I spent the better part of the last two years being anti-homeschooling not because I did not think it wasn’t the best choice for my children but because I did not think I was the best person for the job.  I had it in my head that they grow up, go to school and get out, fortunately God had other plans; other good things in mind for me.  He started weighing on my heart that I needed to consider His promises and pray about it.  The more and more I prayed the more and more I could not stand conventional school for my children.  He clearly showed me that He created them, gave them to me which means there was no better person for the job than me so I had no reason to question, doubt, feel overwhelmed or long for reassurance.

As a Christian, if God tells you something why do you question it?  He has not let any of us down yet and never will.  If you believe He is the Creator of the world, the Beginning and the End, Sovereign Lord then what gives you the right to question anything He tells you, as though you are a spoiled child throwing a temper tantrum?

I saw several people doing exactly this and all I can say is maybe God did not tell you what you think He did but instead you made the Word of God work for you.  One of the instructors this past weekend said something that was hysterical but sort of true to heart, “if you beat something long enough it will confess to anything.”

Are you praying through His word or beating it to confession?

Not Yet But Getting There!

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“I took you from the ends of the Earth, from its farthest corners I called you.  I said, ‘you are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.  So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:9-10.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I were having a great time in deep conversation with some friends and relatives.  Our friend, Curtis, loves to read and was perusing my bookshelf of favs.  He came across a book and asked me what it was about, I gave him the brief description and we moved on.  Last week, in the midst downtime, I realized I hadn’t read it in a while but remembered it was worth another read, especially considering the thoughts that had been running through my head recently.

I have been involved in many youth ministries in the past and now that my degree is coming to an end I am looking forward to seeing where God places me as a Youth Pastor.  Having said that, I do have my share of fears but not the kind someone would automatically assume.  My major fear is for the future of youth.  When Christian teens graduate high school more than 50% of them walk away from their faith, feeling like they now have a free pass to screw around with their life because of lack of accountability and care.  In today’s churches (not all but most), youth leadership spoon feed the kids, encourage their sense of entitlement by the overabundance of their type of activities (video games, pool tables, plasma screen TVs) and less of the Word of God; basically producing a mile wide youth ministry of a sea of faces that is only one inch deep in spiritual depth.

This fear of not having the ability to deepen the hearts of youth without adding all of the fluff was starting to eat at me.  So I decided to pick up the book Curtis asked about, to refresh my memory in hopes of having a mental break from those thoughts.  Wow does God use anything to get our attention or what?  Greg Stier, author of “Ministry Mutiny,” reminded me of how we are to look past the volcanoes and avoid the booming thunder so that we may focus only on the whisper of God.  Elijah had to escape all of the chaos in order to be silent enough to hear God’s wisdom.

Like Elijah I escaped, to the Word of God, and He brought me the verse about calling me and being with me.

Have you heard a whisper lately or are you too busy admiring the flashes of lightning?

Not Yet But Getting There!

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“If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.” I Peter 4:11

This verse alone is the reason why I get nervous right before public speaking.  By nature, I am an extroverted person and so public speaking tends to come easy.  In fact, if truth be told, I actually have a harder time keeping quiet.  (Most of my friends are probably bobbing their heads up and down in agreement right now while reading this).  Talking about something I know well does not really bother me and I love finding out what others know about the subject but when it comes to the subject of God, things are quite different.

I love to have open discussion about everything God related but get extremely nervous when I am the only one doing the speaking.  It has nothing to do with lack of preparation or not knowing my subject but the plain and simple fact that I am representing Him.  I spend hours practicing and studying the subject but when the day finally arrives I feel a lot like Moses must have felt when God told him to speak to Pharaoh.

Some of this fear or lack of confidence has to do with the misguided information fed to me through the churches I grew up in.  Some has to do with sisters who constantly felt the need to correct me every chance they got, including when it came to my belief in God.  Although this may deter others from speaking it has actually given me a major drive to do better, even to the extent of desiring feedback and criticism in order to improve.

The only way, I have found, to accomplish this is with prayer.  If you were to see me before speaking you would probably see a person deep in thought but I am actually having my usual conversation with God, asking Him to speak through me because it is impossible for me to do without Him.

Tonight I happen to switch on the TV show, The Voice, when one of the coaches spoke to his challengers about putting their heart into the song.  The challengers were nervous about each other because they knew the abilities they contained within them.  The coach addressed these nerves by telling them they needed to utilize their own abilities by putting their own emotions in the song, personally connect with the words.

Listening to him say that made me think of how God gets me to speak on His behalf, by making it personal and speaking through my heart.  When He does this I feel blessed to be a part of the experience and am grateful to give Him all the glory for it.  And even though I still get nervous each and every time, excitement also flows through me with great anticipation about the next possible moment that He calls me to do so because it means I get to introduce Him to others.

Throughout history, God has called people to do things, for Him, out of their weaknesses.  I am proud to sign up any and every time He asks.  What are you weak at that God came make personal by using your heart?

Not Yet But Getting There!

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“Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

Not sure if I have used this verse in the past or not but man does it speak volumes.  I am about to get quite personal so gentlemen readers be cautious with proceeding down this path.

For about a year now I had been having many symptoms of menopause and decided to go speak with my doctor about it.  I was half relieved, if I was in fact starting the change, only because it meant other things less desirable would stop but also pretty sad because it put a definite “NO” in the idea of my lovebug and I ever having any more children.

Side Note:  having four girls in our household has proved to be very estrogen/drama filled, despite that we love them very much just really did not want to risk having a fifth girl…anyone with all girls knows what I mean; so I had an IUD to prevent pregnancy until we were sure what we wanted to do, one way or the other.

After speaking with my doctor, she informed me that I would need to be off of my IUD for at least three months in order to be tested for menopause.  I consulted the expert, my husband, to see what he thought about us not being protected.

Another Side Note:  my husband is incredibly smart, I trust everything he has ever told me, respect his advice and would never make a decision like this without his go ahead.

Knowing what I was going through, he said, “go ahead and do as the doctor recommended.”  I replied, “what happens if we get pregnant?”  To which he countered, “well I will do what I do best and we will see what God does with that.”

GENIUS!

So I started praying.

I had a conversation with the Lord about the fact that I only had three months to figure all of this out and whatever He did with that I would be happy about it but that the desire of my heart is to have a little boy.  Month one went by, nothing.  Month two went by, nothing.  Month three came and nearly passed so I resolved to the fact that David and I must have been done with the baby department.  Low and behold sickness set in, letting me know I was not in control with that decision.

I am starting my second trimester and although I have been sicker with this pregnancy than with any of my other ones, I could not be more thrilled.

Last Side Note, I Promise:  my overwhelming sickness is why I have not blogged in several months but today was a good day and I just needed to take a moment to document how faithful God is with the desires of our hearts.

Have you ever stopped to pray for the desire of your heart?

Not Yet But Getting There!

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“From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”  Ephesians 4:16

Discipleship is extremely necessary in the work of the church.  It is the act of believing in a doctrine and then spreading the teachings of that doctrine to others.  To build a great disciple you need to challenge their head, heart and hands.  Well balanced disciples have a satisfied mind, strengthened heart and equipped hands.

Education is the satisfaction of the mind.  In training disciples put them in classes that challenges their thinking and assign them a mentor that holds them accountable to that education.  A few days ago, I had the privilege of sitting in on a Pastoral Training Conference with my pastor, associate pastor and children’s pastor.  The actual instruction of the conference was really good but what made it extra special was the undivided attention of the head and associate pastor who had amazing insights and really made me think.  I felt so exhilarated by the education which just made me crave more but at the same time made me feel satisfied in my abilities to minister to others.

When your mind is satisfied, your heart is strengthened.  Many times before, I have heard people say they are rundown, emotionally exhausted because they are giving so much of themselves but not being recharged; that’s where heart strengthening comes in to play.  I once heard a pastor say, “you cannot spiritually feed someone, if you are not being spiritually fed.”  A lot of ministers give, give, give, which is very noble, but not Biblical.  God wants us to be in constant fellowship with other Christians and with Him, soaking up His word; growing spiritually so that our heart is strongly protected because when it is rundown Satan can get a foothold.

You cannot just know something, you have to value it and the only way to do that is to put it in action.  As a disciple, you must put your knowledge into practice and having a strengthened heart will guard you while doing it.  Being the hands/feet of God means putting what you have learned into practice.  To understand the best way to do that, let me quote Rodney from the movie “Robots” when he remembers Bigweld’s motto, “see a need, fill a need.”  In the movie his dad is a dishwasher who always has to bring home his work and rarely gets to spend quality time with his family so Rodney makes him a mini robot to do the dishes for him.

My daddy was great at serving, sometimes to the point of physical pain, he taught me to have a servant’s heart and help whenever I am needed. I’d like to think I am pretty good at seeing the needs of others and although I serve regularly I am planning on doing something big in January.

My daddy and I have always celebrated our birthday’s together but since he passed, almost two years ago, I have been trying to do things to make that time a little easier.  Last year I hung out with my female friends for a girls night and this year, since I am turning 35, I will be doing 35 random acts of kindness in an effort to be the hands and feet of God in mass quantity.  I am really looking forward to experiencing the circumstances and people He puts in my path; hoping for being physically and emotionally drained enough that I crave the head, heart and hands process all over again.  I have asked my Facebook friends to give me ideas such as paying for someone’s meal, cleaning up a neighbor’s yard, etc.  so I am putting in this same request to all of my readers.  If you have ideas, let me know and I will keep you all posted on what happened.

Have you ever served enough to the point of pain?

Not Yet But Getting There!

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“But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.  All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.”  2 Timothy 3:14-16

I have been teaching the importance of defending your faith to a bunch of teenagers.  They are so impressive and willing to learn all they can to help grow their knowledge of God.  I love watching how their minds work and the opinions they produce from the information they gather.

They were given the assignment: think of something you have heard, from another person who told you it was true because it is in the Bible but do not personally know for yourself.  I told them they needed to use the Bible as their number one resource but also read what dictionaries, commentaries, articles and books on the subject say as well as interviewing people.  Then they needed to make an informed decision by what they discovered; becoming their worldview.

Each teen had to get up in front of the group to speak but only for sixty seconds, in an effort to get their audience to understand and possible agree with their worldview.  Some of them were nervous but they still had a great time.  After the presentations were over they had to turn in their speeches to me.  I told them I was not going to grade them just read and then give them notes on material they should read about their subject so they can get a better understanding of it.  Again, I was so impressed with what I read from their speeches.  They had such a zest and enthusiasm for their topics it was like witnessing newbie Christians who had the greatest desire to spread God’s word.

This assignment is one, I think, every person should do.  When I was given this assignment in a class I took several years ago my eyes were opened to a great deal of truth and I grew so much in my understanding of God.

Instead of just taking what someone tells you about God as golden, research it yourself so you have no doubts.  Knowledge is a powerful tool.

Are you willing to gain more knowledge with a little bit of hard work?

Not Yet But Getting There!

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This blog was started a few years ago but has been in need of an overhaul or beauty makeover.  Instead of just reaching a specific people group it’s job is to give Godly counsel through personal experience.  Anyone can read but please understand that this is just my belief.  I am not trying to force anything upon another, would welcome any thoughts or comments so long as they are respectful and be aware that I will be very vulnerable while writing this.

Who I am for the Lord:                                                                                                                                                                                                          Many years ago I was a youth in our church youth ministry.  I had a youth pastor that was good at his calling when it came to the kids that were following the “right path.”  However, when it came to kids like me his ministering was very lacking.  What basically happened, without getting into the nitty-gritty is I was a rebellious teenager making decisions that most parents would be embarrassed to be associated with (pretty sure if you asked my mom she would agree).  Instead of working harder and not giving up on me and others like me, the youth pastor just wrote us off as lost causes.  Enter my call from God:  Youth Pastor.

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’”  Matthew 25:23

I have seen this kind of beauty before; the kind that makes a person pause and take notice.

I have spent many years working with teens through various employments such as a team teacher, youth care worker, group home manager, youth director and volunteer youth leader.  Several times I walked away from this call thinking maybe I am not right for this or maybe God had someone else in mind but He keeps bringing me back.  This morning I had an opportunity to teach, a group of about 30 teenagers, on Apologetics….one of my favorite topics.  I had some of them defend their faith in front of the group and what I saw was beauty, pure beauty.  They were kind to one another, encouraging, respectful and loving when each would get up to speak.  The experience just reassured me that I am doing as God has called me and to just continue moving forward.

I have a girlfriend who was made aware of human trafficking.  Her heart was so filled with hurt for these people that she started a group called “The Canvas Story.”  She is an amazing artist and decided to use her abilities to earn money to help support the fight against human trafficking.

Recently, there was a post about a police officer in New York who saw a homeless man without shoes.  His feet were cold and blistered so the officer bought him wool socks and all-weather boots.  When asked why he did it, the officer just humbly said he saw a need and filled it.

A friend of mine recently witnessed something traumatic happen to someone.  This friend is several months pregnant but was bending over to clean up after the trauma, was there for the person and cried with the person.  Without giving too many details, in order to protect the privacy of others, I must say the only thing I felt in my heart as I heard this story was “well done thou good and faithful servant!”

People tend to believe that beauty is what you see on the outside but I 100% disagree.  These stories and so many others I have heard show beauty far more magnificent than anything you see in the appearance of a person.

Are you only surface deep or does your beauty run deeper?

Not Yet But Getting There!

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“So I turned to the Lord God and pleaded with him in prayer and petition, in fasting, and in sackcloth and ashes.”  Daniel 9:3

Many of my readers know, I am back in school working towards my Master’s degree in Youth Ministry.  Currently I am in a class called “Spiritual Formation for Christian Leadership.”  It is a pretty interesting class and quite spiritually challenging.  It requires us students to live out our leadership, even if we are not currently in a leadership role at church.

This week’s focus is fasting.  Unfortunately I am hypoglycemic (suffers from low blood sugar).  I have fasted from many things: soda, candy, tv and even once from food.  Growing up I was made to believe that true fasting can only be done if you fast from food but when you have a medical condition how do you justify that?  I have heard people tell me that it should not matter if a person has a medical condition making it impossible for them to go without food because with God all things are possible.  Then I have heard others, including pastors, say that God wants you to give up the desire of your heart in order to desire Him more and in Bible times people typically desired food.

I have to admit, even though my fasting list does not seem like a person could struggle from it, I did.  I was so addicted to all of those things that I actually went through a form of withdraws, the worst being soda and food because the lack of soda caused headaches and lack of food decreased my blood sugar significantly.  The day I fasted food, which was so long ago I do not remember whether it was a meal or all day, I had to drink electrolyte packed drinks in order to maintain.  When I say maintain I really mean it was to prevent me from passing out.  I managed to accomplish my goal but was so focused on how sick I was that I cannot say for sure how focused I was on God.

So then, what is the answer?  I have to fast this week.  The teacher does not require it to be from food just fasting for 6hrs straight from something that my heart is attached to.  Any suggestions?

What thing would you struggle with if you had to give it up?

Are you willing to take 6hrs to fast from it?  If so, remember that time should be spent with God, not work or anything else distracting you from the real purpose of fasting.

Not Yet But Getting There (notyetproverbs31)

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“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  Genesis 2:24

This verse defines some of the biggest problems in marriage but God spoke of it to promote the “oneness” of marriage.  Aside from a person’s personal relationship with the Lord, if these guidelines are not followed a married couple is sure to have difficulties.

When a man and woman say “I Do” they promise a covenant with God to love, protect and respect the other person; amongst other things.  I once heard someone say that a parent’s job is to train their child up to be married, in other words to live independently (leaving) from their parents.  Once your child has moved out or you have walked them down the isle, move on.  That was a little harsh but the truth is your children will survive.  When your kids “leave” you to be with another your advice should only be given when solicited.  When you give it, without being requested, it causes marital problems between your child and their spouse.  The same goes for the adult children, issues in a marriage should be discussed with your spouse before anything gets brought up to your parents and only with the permission of your spouse because it too can cause marital problems.

Cleaving is defined (dictionary.com) as sticking to, adhere closely and to remain faithful.  When you get married your spouse is only second in your life to God but for some reason that is extremely difficult for people to relate to.  Many couples see their spouse as fourth or even fifth on their list of priorities; below kids, work, sports and hobbies.  But God did not create marriage that way, His intent was unity.  It reminds me of the movie “Fireproof” when they use the illustration of salt and pepper shakers being super-glued together.  The firefighter explains that if you were to try and separate they would need to be broken and then would never return to their original form; a lot like the damage a divorce does to a family.

The last point God instructs of married couples is to weave or become one flesh.  Two people becoming one is not something that happens overnight, it takes a lifetime to accomplish.  There is a lot of bending, compromising and sharing that needs to happen from both people.  It starts with being willing to let go of your past, starting fresh with another.  That’s not to say that your past is not important but it is no longer more important than your spouse, i.e. other relationships.  Amongst other things, it also consists of agreeing on how to raise children, which can be difficult if you both were raised in different style homes.

All this to say, nine years ago on June 27th I married my lovebug.  I am excited to have been blessed with the task of leaving, cleaving and weaving for Him.  Like most marriages, we have had our struggles, walked through our valleys and nearly drowned in a storm but every situation brings me to my knees when I thank God for “bringing the rain” because it only makes me stronger in Him and a more devoted wife.  Happy Anniversary to the man of my dreams, the father to my children and the friend by my side….I love you.

Mastered “leaving”……Proficient in “cleaving”…….a constant student in “weaving”…….what’s your status?

Not Yet But Getting There! (notyetproverbs31)

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“But now, O LORD, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are out potter; we are all the work of Your hand.”  Isaiah 64:8

For many years, more than I can remember, I have prayed for God to mold me into the godly woman He wants me to be because I knew I was not living the life of a pleasing daughter.  I know in the past I have mentioned my desire to be humble like Ruth Bell Graham.  Never did I think, to become more like her I had to lose a lot of me.  Now I know that if you pray for something, God will bless you with it, it just may not be the way you had in mind.  So what I thought would be a little refinishing and buffing has actually become a total remelting, remolding and refinishing.  I have felt so torn down the past few months and I do not think I resemble anything like I use to.  I am not naive to think that He is anywhere near done and I know He only gives what He knows I can take but I just never imagined I could take so much.  I am afraid I will be unrecognizable.  In fact, I have had people comment on how I seem different, not myself and I am not sure yet if that is a good thing or not.  I am no longer praying for Him to just mold me into a better person but for Him to be gentle in His refinement because beauty is pain and I am hurting.

I have learned a lot of lessons from this experience….

1.  Be content with what you have.

2.  Don’t borrow trouble.

3.  Love even when undeserved.

4.  Protect my relationship with Him.

5.  Never underestimate the greatness of His plan.

I am not saying I did not know this information before but now it has been burned onto my heart by a cattle prod.  I am still hurting and could use prayers.  I would not be asking if I thought I could do this alone but I know it is beyond my abilities.  The more He changes me, the less me I feel and I know there is a reason for it and will be glad with whatever He does to me but please pray that whatever I end up like He will show me how to be the new me.

Not Yet But Getting There!  (notyetproverbs31)

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